I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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