is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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