The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
