Three words: puerto rican gang bang
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
