so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
