yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
