I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
