Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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