I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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