Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
