That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
