Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
