I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
