Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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