I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
