It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize