So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
