explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
