you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
