so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize