YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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