Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I pour the whiskey from now on
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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