On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
