This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
