SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
