anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
