walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
