A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
