Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
