At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
