I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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