So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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