He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
