Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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