You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
