You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
farters have to be the big spoon...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
