After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize