Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
