just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
