My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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