he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
