I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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