So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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