No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
