I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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