I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
now i know why i became what i already was.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
