dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm at about main and main street
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My dick has a subreddit
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I want a musical about memes.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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