im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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