Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i think i just lost a toe
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
