Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I checked into jail on foursquare
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize