Im at strip club and am horny
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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