That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
