The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
