omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
