Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
