Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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