Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
