I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
