i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
