So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
