Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
