I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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