These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
