Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
