Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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