Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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