she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize
