Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize