So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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