Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
