I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
