Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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