I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
