if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
we have pet lesbian snakes
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
