I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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