There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
