He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
