the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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